


Dumps

by DingoJingoJango



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Character Study, Comedy, Friendship, Gen, Language, Short One Shot, Silly, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24153646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DingoJingoJango/pseuds/DingoJingoJango
Summary: Which of the champions would be willing to do their business in public?This is just where I'm going to be putting any short, stupid one-shots that come to mind.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Dumps

“No. Absolutely not.”

Zelda shook her head, looking away from the champions. “I much prefer my private latrine, thank you very much.”

“I’m going to have to agree,” Mipha chimed in. “It just wouldn’t feel right… I mean, unless… no, no. Perhaps I would try but, honestly, I don’t think I could.”

Urbosa sat relaxed with her arm on her knee. “Well, I don’t see a problem with it. If I’m out, and I have to go, there’s no point in holding it in.”

“Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go,” Daruk agreed. “Except when other people are around. And definitely not near a stable. Or the marketplace. Or anywhere highly populated.”

“So then, what your saying is, no, you wouldn’t feel comfortable going in public,” Revali corrected the Goron.

“I would! Just not when theres other people around.”

Revali stared at him quizzically. “Well, can’t argue with that logic.”

“What about you?” Urbosa asked the rito.

“Me? Discharge my excrement amongst the general public?” The boy sat back, legs pretzel style. “I could. But personally, I don’t think the world deserves such glory. Though I suppose exceptions could be made.”

“Like what?” Asked Zelda

Revali smirked. “Why, revenge, of course. As I like to say, it's a dish best served from above.”

“You’ve actually done that to someone?” Zelda gasped.

Revali took his time answering as he gave the group a half-lidded stare. “Maybe.”

Mipha scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Ugh. You would,” she muttered.

“Oh come on, man.” Daruk chided.

Urbosa looked at the rito and said plainly, “That’s fucked up.”

Zelda shook her head. “Disgraceful.”

“Oh please,” Revali defended himself. “You’d do the same if you could. Don’t even try to deny it. Besides, I never actually did it. Though the thought has crossed my mind.”

Mipha said quietly, “I could never. No matter what someone had done to me.”

“They’d have to really be asking for it,” Urbosa added.

“What did some poor slab do to you that made you think they deserved _that?”_ Daruk asked Revali.

Revali’s facial expression didn’t change. “Wouldn’t you all like to know.”

Just then, Link trotted back to where everyone was seated around the campfire.

“Hmph. Speak of the devil,” Revali muttered.

“Well, I think we all know what Link would do. All done?” Urbosa asked the boy.

Link replied with a double-thumbs up.


End file.
